i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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