i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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