I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
