Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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