Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize