We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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