so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
