My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
