Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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