We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
