You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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