No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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