remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
