I heard we made out
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
