Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
