Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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