we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
