the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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