so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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