I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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