More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
