I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
me + whiskey = a bad person
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
