he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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