"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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