So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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