I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
