i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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