Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The struggles of a small town man whore
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
