we made out on top of his cat.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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