Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
