Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize