About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
