She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am puke
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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