dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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