i think i have two assholes
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
