Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize