My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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