you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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