i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
