I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize