i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Shame - the story of my life.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
