i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Text me some of your sweat
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
