R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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