Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
