how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
