so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
