So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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