Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
