How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
