It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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