We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
