Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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