do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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