They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
