Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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