she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
