Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
