I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
