Fuck appropriateness.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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