You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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