at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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